Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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