My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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