we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
