Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize