I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
