I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
