The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
