There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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