That's when you crack a 10am beer
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
