He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
