I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
She bit a glass in half.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
