Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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