That's when you crack a 10am beer
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
