I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize