got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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