it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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