you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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