areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Randomize
