I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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