it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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