Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
