You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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