when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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