One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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