Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
