Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
