I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
