why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Welp...herpes.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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