Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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