i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Every concussion has its silver lining
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
