In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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