Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
They should really pass out barf bags in church
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
