we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
