Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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