cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Success! We fucked roommates!
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
