we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
