Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize