By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
