when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
