Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
