He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I was not drunk enough for that final.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
