The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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