So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Are my feet made of real feet?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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