some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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