This is the prime rib incident all over again
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
