with your own penis?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
