Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize