You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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