yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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