i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Randomize
