I hate all girls vehemently.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize