I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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