Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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