Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
