oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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