so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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