Your tits are I can't wait for
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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