I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
