I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize