let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
