the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
