Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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